Monday, April 6, 2009

Distance..



I have not posted a blog in just about forever or two months, whichever is longer!

My last entry was about Valentines Day and what a nice time I had going to dinner with Mr. Coffee. Alas, Mr. Coffee has gone his separate way and I have gone mine. No hard feelings, just different lives, different interests, schedule conflicts and distance issues.

Distance Issues:
I have found it is sometimes difficult to try and have a relationship when there is a travel distance greater than 50+ miles or an hour drive time. In the beginning it doesn’t seem so bad, but as time goes on the drive time starts to become an issue. This also depends on the individual and if the two of you are really making a connection. I was seeing someone in Memphis, about an hour east of me, and that worked for a while but it wasn’t just the distance that wore that welcome out. There was one in Utica but there was not enough interest from either of us to warrant that drive! Mr. Coffee was in Freeland; about an hour to the north. He drove south a couple of times, I drove north once and we met in the middle twice, but in the end I think it was more than the distance that was an issue, but the long drive didn’t help. There was the drummer in St. John’s, about an hour to the West. It wasn’t so much the distance that nipped that one in the bud as it was lack of freedom to travel, which is a long story and one for my memoirs! So I’ve tried North, East, and West and guess what…I’m currently in negotiations to the South! I have to say, I like the south and as is reported in most travel brochures they are very friendly and hospitable!

My sister teases me because whenever I meet someone new I seem to say the same thing:
”Oh I really like this one, he seems really”…
Fill in the blanks; smart, funny, creative, clever, talented, nice, sweet, interested, etc, etc, etc.
“You always say that” she says.
My response to her is “Isn’t that the point?”

This new man is a bit different. When I first met him he seemed very overwhelming to me. When I say very, I mean VERY in all capital letters. We went out about a week and a half and I told him I couldn’t see him anymore. I couldn’t figure him out. He was too intense, he liked me too much, I felt. That seemed like too much pressure for me and I didn’t think I would be able to keep from disappointing him. I ran away as fast as I could. A few days went by and I was talking with my brother. We started discussing something unrelated and before I knew it I was telling him about the guy I broke up with. Then I started wondering aloud why I set the bar so low for the men I date. I never have expectations or rather, I expect nothing from them and get nothing in return and wonder why it is I can’t meet a nice guy. My brother asked why, then, I had just chucked the one guy who seemed to fit that bill. Hmmm, good question.

A few more days went by and I got an email from him, the one I had run away from. We started emailing, then moved to talking on the phone, then met a couple of times for dinner or lunch or a movie. The key is we talked…and talked and talked and talked. He is such a nice person. He genuinely is interested in what I have to say and what my opinion is and what I like and dislike. He is a good man and I am looking forward to getting to know him better. He is still intense, but it doesn’t scare me the way it did in the beginning. He and I have talked about my feelings of being overwhelmed and he tries to rein in his enthusiasm, but now I understand that is just the way he is, and that is not all bad either! We have many things in common plus similar interests such as movies, books, the arts, trivia and chicken wings and enjoying each others company to name just a few. If I have anything to say about it, my neighbor to the south will be around for some time to come. And from what he says and how he has been acting, I’m pretty sure he feels the same way!

3 comments:

Kivetros said...

Oh, wow.

Instead of the usual snarky commentary on your experiences that I usually show up around here with, I have something Genuine And Serious to day.

About the whole 'intensity' bit... that is exactly how I felt about one Caitlin LeAnne when I met her. We hit it off right away, but she was just so intense about... well, everything that I uh, actually tried to date three different girls in an effort to get my mind offa her. Then we started talking a bit more... then we >>fastforwardtothepresent>> well now, we are madly in love and discussing THE M WORD.

So yes... good luck with Mr. Intensity. He might be The One. You never know.

-John

Princess Lynn said...

awww!

John is right - "intensity" is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, he may just seem intense to you when in reality you just a little un-intense! +cough-john-cough+ (yes I made that up, but you get my point! I made up another word today too! It is "boobention". You will have to email me for the definition on that one)

A N Y W A Y S...

I am glad that I pursued my shy John. His lack of desire for me turned into a BURNING HOT PASSION OF FIRE AND FLAMES AND LAVA AND OTHER HOT THINGS THAT I CAN PUT IN CAPITAL LETTERS!!!

But that doesn't always happen. So I hope that Mr. Intensity doesn't pursue too diligently - cause you never know - he just might be The One

Chourou said...

Hi,long time no see!
Actually the least thing I could say in this situation,....well,I miss you.:D