Distance..

I have not posted a blog in just about forever or two months, whichever is longer!

My last entry was about Valentines Day and what a nice time I had going to dinner with Mr. Coffee. Alas, Mr. Coffee has gone his separate way and I have gone mine. No hard feelings, just different lives, different interests, schedule conflicts and distance issues.

Distance Issues:
I have found it is sometimes difficult to try and have a relationship when there is a travel distance greater than 50+ miles or an hour drive time. In the beginning it doesn’t seem so bad, but as time goes on the drive time starts to become an issue. This also depends on the individual and if the two of you are really making a connection. I was seeing someone in Memphis, about an hour east of me, and that worked for a while but it wasn’t just the distance that wore that welcome out. There was one in Utica but there was not enough interest from either of us to warrant that drive! Mr. Coffee was in Freeland; about an hour to the north. He drove south a couple of times, I drove north once and we met in the middle twice, but in the end I think it was more than the distance that was an issue, but the long drive didn’t help. There was the drummer in St. John’s, about an hour to the West. It wasn’t so much the distance that nipped that one in the bud as it was lack of freedom to travel, which is a long story and one for my memoirs! So I’ve tried North, East, and West and guess what…I’m currently in negotiations to the South! I have to say, I like the south and as is reported in most travel brochures they are very friendly and hospitable!

My sister teases me because whenever I meet someone new I seem to say the same thing:
”Oh I really like this one, he seems really”…
Fill in the blanks; smart, funny, creative, clever, talented, nice, sweet, interested, etc, etc, etc.
“You always say that” she says.
My response to her is “Isn’t that the point?”

This new man is a bit different. When I first met him he seemed very overwhelming to me. When I say very, I mean VERY in all capital letters. We went out about a week and a half and I told him I couldn’t see him anymore. I couldn’t figure him out. He was too intense, he liked me too much, I felt. That seemed like too much pressure for me and I didn’t think I would be able to keep from disappointing him. I ran away as fast as I could. A few days went by and I was talking with my brother. We started discussing something unrelated and before I knew it I was telling him about the guy I broke up with. Then I started wondering aloud why I set the bar so low for the men I date. I never have expectations or rather, I expect nothing from them and get nothing in return and wonder why it is I can’t meet a nice guy. My brother asked why, then, I had just chucked the one guy who seemed to fit that bill. Hmmm, good question.

A few more days went by and I got an email from him, the one I had run away from. We started emailing, then moved to talking on the phone, then met a couple of times for dinner or lunch or a movie. The key is we talked…and talked and talked and talked. He is such a nice person. He genuinely is interested in what I have to say and what my opinion is and what I like and dislike. He is a good man and I am looking forward to getting to know him better. He is still intense, but it doesn’t scare me the way it did in the beginning. He and I have talked about my feelings of being overwhelmed and he tries to rein in his enthusiasm, but now I understand that is just the way he is, and that is not all bad either! We have many things in common plus similar interests such as movies, books, the arts, trivia and chicken wings and enjoying each others company to name just a few. If I have anything to say about it, my neighbor to the south will be around for some time to come. And from what he says and how he has been acting, I’m pretty sure he feels the same way!

Ahh, Valentines Day!

Today is Sunday, my typical blog day.

Sitting in bed watching TV (shocking, right?) surfing the net and planning what to make for dinner when my kids come tonight (and after I drag them to the grocery store). Bonus, we have tomorrow off work and school for Presidents Day; can you say WOO HOO!!

Yesterday was Valentines Day. My original plan was to head to Tawas and meet Mr. Coffee and some of his friends, go to dinner, and stay the night at the Tawas Bay Beach Resort. Well, best laid plans and all that jazz. I was planning to get on the road around 2pm but at 1pm Mr. Coffee called to say his dad was having an extremely bad day and we were going to have to cancel our plans. WAH!! I mentioned in a previous blog what a good man Mr. C is. He is helping his parents during a very difficult time. I commend him, everyone should be as devoted to their family. However, I was bummed! I waited about 30 minutes then sent a text suggesting I could come to him, we could possibly go to dinner and exchange Valentines. The answer was a resounding YES!

So, I drove north. We thought maybe Italian for dinner, but we had no reservation and seeing as it was last minute and Valentines day we opted for Chinese (because the parking lot was the least crowded, lol), it was very good though! We exchanged Valentines cards first before heading inside; Catsablanca is all I can say, very funny with an xoxo on the inside, awwww. After dinner I received a tour of Midland and some of their premier landmarks; the Curling Club and Baseball Park home of The Midland Loons, named after the bird not the state of mind (I think - lol). Also "Lookout Lane" or was it point? Whatever, it's was a great make out spot with a pretty view, just like the ones you see in the movies, complete with other parkers and their fogged up windows and the occasional drive by of the police to make things a little more exciting - let the smooching begin!

I can't remember a better Valentines day!

GASP...Warm in February?

What a beautiful weekend, over 40 degrees in February makes Michiganders think they are living in Nirvana!

I had my boys this week but also got so spend some time with my new favorite Mr. Coffee. I watched the movie Casablanca for the first time this weekend, and sharing it with someone special made all the different for me (he brought it from his home DVD collection). I would have to say, that has got to be the most quoted movie of all time. Hardly a scene went by without me hearing a phrase that I've heard a dozen different times in others movies.."Here's looking at you kid" being just one of the many. Although Bogey never said "Play it again, Sam" all he said was "Play it, you played it for her and you can play it for me, just play it".

Mr. Coffee is one of the people I met on the on-line dating site, and I have to say things are going along pretty well. We started chatting (instant messaging) just before Christmas, sharing the occasional email and IM chat. We then started chatting on a little more regular basis toward the beginning/middle of Jan. We met for the first time Jan 14th, at Starbucks, hence the name Mr. Coffee. - LOL.

We have been out 4 or 5 times since then and I have enjoyed each time we have gotten together; and I know he has as well, he told me so. We've been going a little slower that I have been known to go in the past. This is a good thing. Taking time to get to know someone, discovering the little things, learning the bigger ones. I do know this, he is a good man, a devoted son, a gentleman, and has great taste in movies! Plus, he likes me, so obviously he has good judgment in people - hahahaha. I am enjoying this and look forward to discovering more of him and sharing more of myself.

Next week is Valentines Day..this should be interesting; I already have two cards, a funny one and one a little more serious, but not too mushy. Wish me luck!

Friends and Family!

Sitting at home on a Saturday night watching TV. Wish I had someone sitting next to me enjoying the Bourne movie on cable; and by someone, I mean a special someone I've been seeing.

My special someone and I went to the movies last night and dinner; he introduced me to spicy hot wings and mini-corn dogs, scrumptious at least, if not healthy! We came back to my place and he fascinated me with his vast collection of hand tied flies and yes, I am genuinely interested! To say he is an avid fly fisherman is like saying winter in Michigan is a little chilly! The flies he has made are not only intricate and detailed but also beautiful and functional. He is planning on hitting the water this weekend! It's January (ok, almost February) in Michigan. It was 18 degrees today and he's going fishing, not in a sealed shanty with a space heater, but in a stream; yeah, he's into it! We finished the evening watching the movie A River Runs Through It; a beautifully filmed story that centers around a father and his sons who share a love of...fly fishing - LOL. Slow and steady with this one, we'll see where it takes us. You know me always in a hurry, but I'm making an effort this time.

On another note, finally got to spend some time with my sister who I have not gotten together with since Christmas. My sister is a human compass. If she goes someplace she never gets lost. She just has a natural sense of direction, unlike me who has been known to drive, back track, curse the map, turn around, turn around again and be asked from the backseat by my children; "are you sure you know where you're going?" to which I unashamedly reply "Probably not, but we can always stop and ask directions". My sister, the human compass, was coming to my house from Port Huron for a yummy Chinese dinner. I live right off I-69 which is a straight shot west from PH. She called me to say she was on her way and would be there shortly. She called about 15 minutes later and said, rather aghast, that she had somehow gotten on I-94 not I-69 and was headed to Detroit and had been headed south rather than west for about 20 minutes! My poor sister, the human compass, went about 80 mile out of her way! In sympathy I ended up bringing dinner to her house (but I refused to put my jeans back on and actually came in my PJ's) and as a bonus I got to see my niece and nephew, watch funny stuff on You Tube, laugh at the contestants on American Idol and share a fabulous Chinese dinner with my sister and her kids.

It was a great evening despite the human compass going off course!

Taking it slow..and tieing flies

I seem to post on Sundays. Maybe it's a week in review wrap up?

Some interesting things have happened this week. I'm beginning to appreciate the luxury of taking things slow. This is a very hard concept for me! I'm like a racehorse with blinders charging to the finish line. Unlike a derby hopeful, this is not the best way for a 42 year old woman to proceed through life. Good for young Thoroughbred horses, not so good for people, me especially. This has never stopped me though; charging forward, racing to the finish line, blinders in place (blinders are those little hoods horses wear to keep them focused forward unable to see what is right next to them) first one there gets the prize (or a broken leg and dragged back to the barn to be shot)!

I've been thinking about what my goal for the new year might be. I like to set a goal, rather than make a resolution. It's the same thing I guess, but a goal to me is something I want to learn or discover and a resolution to me is something I need to stop.

My goal is to take off my blinders and slow down. Some of you who know me are wondering; slow down, jeeze if she were anymore laid back (aka lazy) she would be in a coma! By slowing down I'm talking about appreciating the little things. Getting to know someone rather that immediately jumping into the thick of things. Learning to appreciate the things I have rather than wishing for what I don't have. Turning off the electronics and spending time with the people I love. Cooking at home and sharing a meal rather than going out to eat. Those things.

I've met someone who has been teaching me about fly fishing. I enjoy fishing, I always have. We fished all the time when we were kids. We used lures, worms, cheese, even the buds off the thick grass that grew at the edge of the lake we lived by when we were growing up. I even spent a couple of days in Canada at one of those fly in places with a huge lake and cottages where you spend all morning fishing, come in long enough to cook a shore lunch with your mornings catch, back out on the lake for the afternoon fishing and then back to the island and your cottage in the evening for another fish dinner and time spent around a campfire. In other words - heaven!! I've never tried fly fishing. I know what it is, the basic concept. Long rod, simple reel, pull out some line and swish, swish, swish gently casting the rod and pulling it back, again and again. Back and forth, back and forth and finally letting the line settle down and drift a little. The lures, known as flies, imitate nature - most specifically the insects that hatch in succession throughout the season. There are also lures that resemble frogs, ants, mice, crickets any unfortunate creature who falls into a river or stream and looks like a tasty treat to an always hungry fish. Some lures are attractors; not designed to look like anything but just shiny or squiggly enough to catch the fish's eye and entice them to give it a closer inspection! The flies are amazing! Some are so small I can't imagine even being able to hook anything bigger than a minnow on it! The sub culture to fly fishing is fly tieing. Fishermen who create their own flies at home using all kinds of material - mostly natural like feathers of all kinds, deer hair, moose mane, rabbit ear hair, squirrel tail, you name it and it's probably for sale. Man made fibers are also incorporated, fleece, chenille, iridescent thread, and much more all combined to make an irresistible little tidbit attached to a hook with the intention to land that elusive stream or river dweller! OK, I'll get off my flybox and give it a rest for a minute, but I'm hooked (bad pun, I know)!!

Here's to taking it slow, appreciating what you have, taking off blinders, appreciating the art of flies and....kissing for 2 hours!

Sunday, the end or the begining?

Is Sunday the start of the week or the end of the week?

We usually think of Monday as the start of the work week and Saturday and Sunday as the weekend..emphasis on end. Most calendars start the week with Sunday though. Because I share custody of my kids with their dad, our weeks revolved around Sunday. Take this week for example. Today, Sunday, the boys are with me and have been all week. Tonight at 6pm they go back to their dad's house. So this (to me at least) is a bad Sunday (not bad so much as sad), and end of the week Sunday, my boys will not be back for 7 days. This is also a rushed day..we clean the house together, finish homework before going to Dad's and try to cram in some "family" stuff on this, our last day of the week together.

The agenda for today:

David (the neighbor kid and best friend to my oldest) was still here - spent the night Friday and Saturday night! He just went home..I actually made them breakfast today, usually I make them get cereal or help themselves. So now that David has departed the day starts (at noon, sigh, not a good start).

SHOWERS - my oldest is 13 and has been playing video games and lounging for the past 48+ hours!! As soon as David left I just pointed at the bathroom door and said "GO". The younger is next..he's 10 and not quite as disheveled (yet).

HOMEWORK - my kids are probably no different than anyone's. Homework assigned on Friday does not even get considered until Sunday and usually not until the clock reads "PM". Of course by then anything they might have remembered relating to the homework assignment has been forgotten and I get to be brutally reminded that NO, I am NOT smarter than a 5th grader. Thank-you Jeff Foxworthy! One plus, the 13 year old is a great student and I rarely have to help with his homework..thank goodness since he is a 7th grader and that study material is way out of my grasp on a Sunday at noon!! I am shamed to admit I just had to look in the glossary to find out what the answer was to "What is a quotient"...hee hee hee, it's the answer when you are doing long division..it would probably be redundant at this point to tell you I was a poor student and by poor I mean dumb!

SHOPPING - because of this crummy snow I haven't ventured out this weekend. We need some food and I promised we could get a new Wii game that they can beat me at (which would be any Wii game) but, I am getting my own controller with a pink cover!! No one touches it but me!

FAMILY TIME - This will consist of playing the new Wii game I assume and me having aching arms for another week.

DINNER - Well, I'll figure this out after we go to the store, but I've been craving pork chops lately so that will probably be on the menu.

BACK TO DADS - at 6pm-ish we gather up the stuff and head over to Dads. Book bags, winter boots, backpacks with a favorite video game or book (they used to be filled with a favorite stuffed animal and blanket, sniffle sniffle time flies).

Sunday is the end of the week on days like today, but in 7 days it will once again be the beginning of the week when my boys come back around 6pm and start my week our the way it should always start with a big ole smile on my face and my finger pointing toward the bathroom saying - "You have got to get in the shower"!

Winter Wonderland?

I live in Michigan. I've always lived here; with the exception of a couple years in Florida which I would qualify as an aberration (long story, don't go there). Being a life long Michigan resident you would think I would have made my peace with Michigan Winter. I have not. In fact, this snowy season has really gotten to me and it's just the beginning of January...we have a couple/few more months to go.

I do not ski, snowmobile, snowshoe, build snowmen (ok, sometimes if my kids are here and the snow is the correct consistency), make snow angels, wonder at the uniqueness of the individual snowflake, marvel at the beauty of a fresh blanket of snow (ok, that's a lie, I can appreciate it..from inside where it's warm). I shovel.

I shovel, shovel, shovel. I salt and shovel. I don't salt and then I chip away at the ice and shovel. I try and avoid shoveling by making my kids shovel. I disregard shoveling and just plow my way through it into the garage and barrel through the drift at the end of the driveway when they dien to plow the streets around here (few and far between this heavy season).

I make a trail through it dragging the garbage can to sit, tilted like a drunken sailor, waiting for the Thursday morning pick-up. I drag the can back through the snow to the garage, with the snow crusted around the top of it. I am thankful I have no dogs to bring in snowballs clinging to their furry bellies and leaving little snow puddles all around the house.

However, I do have boys and they do go outside (yes, sometimes that actually leave the video game system and venture out into fresh air). Kinda like dogs they bring snow back into the house on their boots, gloves, clothes, jackets, and hats.

I try and ambush them when they come into the garage and get them to "stomp" off any excess, then into the laundry room to strip out of their snowy gear. Pull off snowy pants (turned inside out now), soggy socks (yes, also inside out), soaking gloves (inside out), dripping boots (liners pulled out), soaked hat (flung on the floor creating a puddle), jackets hung (right side out, but usually with one sleeve pulled in to guarantee it will be wet when they go to put it back on so they can gripe about it), and the long sleeve shirt I make them wear, soaked around the cuffs making their wrists as red as a fire engine!

After they shed everything, and I trail behind turning everything right side out (or is that right side in??), mopping up little snow puddles, placing boots by the heater, spreading hats and gloves out to dry. I emerge from the laundry room, back aching, muttering under my breath about how it would be easier with a PACK of dogs and clinging belly-snowballs.

I am greeted with rosy cheeked boys, big grins on their faces, hair standing on end with static electricity, runny noses, frozen feet and hands, streaking for the nearest blanket and video game controller with the plea of "Mo-o-o-o-o-o-m, what are we having for lunch, we're starving!".

I love my boys, but I just really detest winter!!